A Deal… A Bargain… What the Hell is This?

When I shop, I get a tingle down my spine. I once saw a report on 20/20 that explained how our basic hunting and gathering instincts are brought out when we shop. That’s right, I thought, the great hunt! I am an animal waiting for the kill, and when I see a good deal, I pounce!

Tonight, at Target, one of my favorite bargain hunting grounds, I saw that a closet organizer was on sale by California Closets. So, let’s just say I am excited to see their next selection on sale. As I walk, I grimace at the memory of the messy clothes in my walk-in closet, overflowing the hamper. The hairs on my arms stand up, and I tingle at the thought of the add-on sale -- thirty-six smackaroonies!

As I approach the aisle, I notice a couple rounding the bin behind me. Was it my imagination or is she eying my closet system? I notice her watching me out of the corner of her eye too. I take a quick look -- one shelf left! Oh no, honey, this one’s mine! I walk a little faster. So does she. I think back to “Christmas with the Kranks” and how Jamie Lee Curtis raced another woman to the last ham in the grocery store. What would this woman do? I quickly turn my cart to block her view of the closet system, and I wait, heart thumping. She starts to open her mouth as if to say ‘excuse me’, and I shake my head, looking her dead in the eye, nostrils flaring. She backs down, I have won. I am the warrior queen! The huntress!

As I turn toward my conquest, I am on cloud nine, and I float down the aisle, patting myself on the back for being frugal enough to wait for this sale when -- Wham! -- this is not the California Closet in Cherry, but some watered-down, flimsy, manufactured, cheap-as-can-be (dare I even call it wood?) imitation!

I dragged myself home deflated, my clothes metaphorically torn by the battle that -- well let’s face it -- only happened in my mind. So I send this message to you. Don’t wait too long for the deal. I was been slapped in the face by my own prudence. Sometimes you have to pay a little more. Settle for 20% instead of waiting for 50%. I shall live to hunt another day because the huntress always lives inside. I wait in the grasses of sales and clearance. My shoulders are thrown back, my teeth are bared, and I watch for that opportunity, ready to pounce.


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